I work in an insurance call center handling complex technical calls and taking escalated calls. Most of my calls are ho-hum technical calls. I handle escalations about billing and underwriting, which are usually a variation of "how dare you tell me that you won't insure me for free." I work swing shift, so I handle more than just the Garden Variety Crazy or Demanding Karen. I handle the ones who are willing to call an insurance company at 2 a.m. to yell at someone.
I'm alternating my reading between a book about Vladimir Putin and news about the U.S. Capitol being stormed when my headset beeps. It's a rep from our online team. He's had to escalate a chat up to me because the customer will not accept the answer he's been giving for the last half hour. In writing, no less. She has also made some changes to the policy while online with my rep, including deleting a driver.
When an online rep escalates to yours truly, it entails the online rep calling out to the customer first. This particular online rep is a perfectly lovely individual with a distinctive accent. Apparently, the accent got under the customer's skin to the point where she used racial epithets on him repeatedly.
Upon introducing myself, Karen Klux Klan asks me where I am physically located exactly. Her emphasis on the word exactly is so snotty and condescending that I am tempted to provide her with the latitudinal and longitudinal coordinates just to fuck with her head. But she's not worth the time, so I give her only my state.
Karen Klux Klan proceeds to then tell me that because we're withdrawing $300 a month from her checking account when she only agreed to $70 a month, we're committing fraud and she wants $1200 back. She then says that because she worked as a court reporter in her state, she knows all about how the law works. I note that her current policy term has been active for a little over four months. We had sent out a renewal offer back in the middle of July. The policy renewed in late August. The renewal offer included a payment schedule for $300 a month, starting with the renewal date. Along with a billing schedule was a summary of what changes had been applied, including changes to her spawn's rating status. She has enrolled in online documents for everything, so I refer her to her emails.
Her response: "Oh, I got the emails, but they weren't urgent enough for me to read. You guys need to tell me when something's urgent so I'll pay attention to it. And I didn't give you c*******ers permission to change my kid's status, so you did something that you weren't supposed to do."
Me: "We're only obligated to send out the renewal offer to the address you've provided. Verification of your reading of those notices is not incumbent upon us per the Department of Insurance. And by making your initial down payment with us back on XX/YY/ZZZZ, you agreed to terms and conditions we've outlined in our policy contract. We're merely enforcing the contract terms upon which you've agreed."
Karen Klux Klan: "Well, that's unethical, and we're in the middle of a pandemic. I told your n***er sales person not to put Kevin Klux Klan on my policy because I can't afford the insurance for him. Your salesman forced me to add Kevin because he lives in my household and drives my vehicle now that he has a drivers license."
Me (noting that Kevin was just deleted off of the policy): "I'm sorry you feel that adherence to a contract is unethical. Also, I will ask you to keep this call professional or we will discontinue this conversation. Now, does Kevin still operate your vehicle or live in your household?"
Karen Klux Klan: "Yes, but I don't want him on my policy because I don't want to pay $300 a month for insurance. I should only be paying $70 per month. And are you going to be giving me $1200 back or what?"
Me (malevolently smiling): "Kevin Klux Klan needs to be added back onto your policy as a rated driver, then. Should you choose not to have me add him onto your policy, I will be referring this policy to our underwriting department, who will add him on for you. Furthermore, as you've admitted on a recorded line that you received the email, we will not be accommodating any request to refund you that money, as there was no error made."
Karen Klux Klan then calls me a c**t and tells me how I'm horrible at my job. I tell her I'm sorry she feels that way, but she has a choice to make. She hangs up on me after calling me a "F***ING STUPID B***H" at the top of her lungs.
Right as I'm documenting how unhinged Karen Klux Klan is and submitting an underwriting review, my boss messages me. It's a string of three emojis: Big eyes, whew, big eyes again. Then the question: "Are you okay? That was rough."
My response: "I've been called worse by better, but can this call get me something like hazard pay?"
Boss: "Well, funny you should mention that, because I'm messaging you to go over raise information. Call me on our conference line."
Turns out boss wanted to tell me that he put me in for the max percentage bump this year. He was doing silent monitoring because he was completing the annual reviews for said raise. His words: "You've definitely earned it."
The job can be tedious, but it's that much better when you have a boss who recognizes how hard you work and that you're good at your job.
submitted by The exam was more difficult because of wording than any practice software. What amazes me about the exam is you can know the material and not pass. This may be true for anything, but is especially true about this exam because of the way it's worded .
- "Think like a manager?" While this is true, I had at least 50 questions on the exam where NOT thinking like a manager was necessary. Clearly ISC(2) are reading these forums and watching youtube videos ,attempting to improve the exam likely monthly. So, "think like a manager" is often true, but there were several times where the questions required absolute technical knowledge and most importantly "beak/fix" solutions. at least 25 that I recall. I searched for "think like a manager" answers and they simply were not there for those questions. All 4 choices were technical.
Conclusion: "Think like a LAWYER with a technical background" is FAR more appropriate advice. Larry Greenblatt stated this in so many words and he was right. You must think like a lawyer more often than manager and yes, there were absolutely questions where FIXING THE PROBLEM was the correct answer. How do I know this? Because again, the 4 choices were technical in nature/NOT managerial.
2) you have to read the questions and answers twice in most cases, but not all. I cannot tell you how many times I had the right answer the first time, only to change it, then ponder, then change it back. There are in fact 10 straight-forward questions on the exam and these should be answered without thought. I cannot cite examples specifically, but there were at least 5-10 questions that were quite straight forward.
3) my exam had zero math (ALE etc), but I had to know the ALE/SLE/ARO formulas, meanings because these were choices to answer real world scenario problems. No calculations for me were required. They provide a white board and sharpie. I did not use it. The terminal has an electronic calculator as well. I did not use it.
4) I wore ear muffs. I believe this saved me. The testing site provided lawn mower ear protection. I did not know this, but immediately put them on and I feel this saved me for concentrating. do NOT underestimate the level of concentration you will need. There was in fact noise in the room a few times even WITH the hearing protection. That caught me off-guard because the test center emphasized quiet, but I heard people talking several times. Plus, there was construction in the adjacent suite, which was incredible to me. I heard drills etc. while in the waiting area. I am questioning in my mind, "would I have passed this exam without the ear protection?" I am not sure. The isolation made me completely focus on the exam. I could hear my heart beating/racing as well.
5) You can laugh, but practice your questions at home wearing a mask for COVID-19. Years from now, one might read this and laugh. My reading glasses fogged up and the mask got annoying after an hour, trust me. Get used to sitting wearing a mask if you're not already wearing it for your daily work.
6) Sleep the night before. I did not. I was wide awake at midnight, 2 am, 3 am, and finally just gave in and read practice questions. I arrived at the test center absolutely horrified, half asleep, and drinking cold coffee in my vehicle outside. What saved me was listening to Greenblatt's Exam Tips video. I also had watched Cybrary's video on "Think like a manager." You need to think like a lawyer. or a CTO. Not a manager in my opinion. If you happen to report to a CTO, then I guess you can think like YOUR manager.
7) Schedule a test date. Without that, you will NOT have the motivation to study likely. A deadline is absolutely vital to learning the material. Common sense I know.
8) I studied 2-4 hours on weeknights for several months, and SAT and SUN for 6-10 hours for 6 weeks before the exam.
9) What did I study?
--Boson practice questions over and over, but guess what? I read every answer and challenged myself to say why the incorrect answers were incorrect 1x1. So, doing 50 questions often took me 4 hours. Boson's explanations were like reading a study guide, for me. Boson won't work on a mobile device. I wish they would introduce a mobile app! Whomever writes the Boson material did an excellent job. FYI I was told Kaplan is similar, but do not know.
Boson is absolutely amazing because you can tailor your own quiz and plug in a keyword. That was AMAZINGLY helpful to me. I plugged in "Annual Loss" and its engine brought up every question/answer containing ALE questions, some of which were challenging. "Biba" "SOC" "SDLC" etc, etc, etc.. when you get 10-50 questions in a row for the same subject matter, you learn the material. I cannot emphasize enough how this helped me. I did all the questions at least once, but focused more on the answer explanations which are amazingly written. Each answer is explained as to what it is, why it's correct/incorrect and it's brilliantly written. I was scoring 75-85 on all BOSON scores, but did not care. Boson drills deeply, but it shines when it explains answers. I also would ask, "when would this incorrect answer be correct????" and in my mind created new questions tailored against the other answers. This took hours but was worthwhile.
--ISC Pocket prep for mobile--CISSP exam module. I cannot say enough positive things about this app. It's VASTLY under estimated in its importance. Whether in bathroom, coffee shops, or in bed, I did question after question after question. Sometimes, new questions would magically appear as well. I flagged ones that were challenging and that helped. I took "flagged/missed" questions nightly, then added 20-30 more from the entire pool. These questions helped me learn the material and ingrain the integrity models, etc. I do not know why more people don't talk about the pocket prep. I did all 800 questions but again, new questions appeared from time to time. at least twice I did all 800 repeatedly over time until I had things memorized. They claim you should not memorize things for CISSP, but you HAVE to memorize much of the material. Same thing as Boson--I created mental questions against which the incorrect answers at hand would be correct for my new question. Many people are critical of this app, claiming it is not in-depth enough. This may be true, but there is no single study tool that covers all CISSP questions.
--11th Hour. I read it. I did the questions in it, 5 per chapter. This gave a great overview at a high level and is very well written, despite some typos (it happens).
--I tried to read the study guide from Sybex 8th Edition and just could not concentrate. I read the Boson and Pocket prep answer explanations instead.
--I registered my printed copy of Sybex Eighth Edition Practice Questions online and did all the practice questions in quantities of 20. When I'd accumulate 20 questions that I answered incorrectly, I made that a test in and of itself. I took all those questions collectively at least twice. 1,300 questions. One time I did 150 questions, seriously, and the site logged me out(!) and that was at question #143! So, that's why I was more careful and took 20-40 questions at a time thereafter. Imagine losing your score after 143 questions--I was frustrated!!
--I watched every YouTube video I could find. The ones that stood out where Mind Map, which does not get enough credit. This links the material together well. Larry Greenblatt's videos on exam verbiage helped a lot. Kelly from Cybrary was amazing. The IT Dojo videos actually diminished my confidence because they were at times far too technical. The guy on there is amazing and brilliant, but I stopped watch those videos because I told myself I did not have time to get into the weeds at his his level. He's brilliant. so, MindMap, Greenblatt, Kelly from cybrary. Another guy did a video on what to wear, bring, and the training center logistics. That was helpful.
--I signed up/joined Luke Ahmed's Facebook page and looking at people's questions helped me. Joining their conversations helped. I even asked a few questions myself about FRFAR and so on. it was great to bounce off ideas and questions with fellow study people. I bought Luke's book as a favor because I felt bad using his free Facebook site. His book actually helped, but only contains 25 questions. I read it through once and it helped--it's very cheap and short.
Comparitech's summary cheat sheets helped too. I pulled those up 1x1 the night before the exam. Great overview! Google this and you will find their summary PDF sheets. They are more clear than Sunflower, at least for me.
10) Wear something comfortable. You cannot bring any watches, jewelry, keys, not even a handkerchief into the test area. They check your pockets, socks, coin pockets, hair etc.. they looked over my glasses and I sanitized my hands at least 30 times while there at their request.
I brought a passport and driver license. You have a vascular scan (palm vein scan) 3x per hand out front, then they check it again in back, hand sanitizer between each scan! Obviously this varies by region. I am being told there will likely be remote-from-home testing allowed soon. I think for me that would be too distracting.
When you take the test, you have two things with you beside the clothes on your back. Your driver license and your locker key. Place those on the desk to your left or right and forget about them during the test.
The room was warm, for me. I wore a short sleeve shirt, jeans, socks, tennis shoes. Yes, they checked my ankles and made me frisk myself. That was fine by me.
11) do not panic during the test. I did. Once I hit question 80 and realized I had maybe an hour remaining, I panicked. I told myself "you've got this. you did not study all this time to let this go down the drain." I got angry. I motivated myself to say, "don't let them get the best of you." if getting mad motivates you, then get mad. Whatever it takes, within reason, do it. whether it is a superstition or whatever the case is, do it. akin to a hockey player that has a ritual before a game. Do it. Get mad, get motivated. I asked for strength, admitting how petty I was being when people are starving.
when I hit question 101, I panicked again.. "oh crap, I did not pass the exam at 100 questions. What did I get wrong? How long is this going to be???????"
I kept going. I had the same thought at 130, 135 ,136, 140, by 149 I was absolutely panicked beyond belief. At 150, with 1.5 minutes remaining, I submitted my final answer. At that point I was shattered. I acknowledged the test was done and clicked a button formally closing the test electronically. "How am I going to face my boss.. what do I tell my spouse?? the schedule for exams is so booked now............. it's going to take months to reschedule my 2nd attempt and I have to keep studying!!!!??? what am I going to do??" ( I had, several times, tired to make adjust my CISSP test date to an EARLIER date, and saw dates were not available for months and months--I was fortunate to have even gotten the date I did because of center limited capacity--Covid-19).
I was firmly convinced because I hit #150 that I 'd not passed the exam. FIRMLY. I told the test center lady, "there's no way I passed this one. I hit question 150..." her reply was, "not necessarily true, there are people that ALWAYS get 150 no matter what. please go to the lobby and get your belongings from the locker." I did just that. I went to the locker.
FYI you do not get your test results until you walk out, get your stuff from the locker, then go back to the desk out front. In the lobby I mean--this is the same with COMPTIA tests etc. The lady, out front, not the lady from the testing area, gave me a sheet face down. I slowly took it and was nervous. I turned it over and first saw the word, "congratulations...." I did a double take. I then even put on my glasses to actually read it and make sure it was correct--"Can this be right?" I asked her, "is this real? it's my picture.. " I knew I had completed many questions knowingly, but there were so many others where I simply picked 1 of the 3-4 "best" correct answers.
She laughed and said, "yes, that is you, you passed."
I teared up. Adrenaline. All that studying.. all that anger during the test, the panic, the questions where I was not all sure I had a clue.. all morphed into a single moment. I told her I could hug her. She got up to hug me, no joke. it was a profound moment in my life to pass this exam. I thought because I had "all 150" questions I did not pass.
Everyone at my work bragged about passing at question 105, 100, 110.. their exam ended at those quantities of questions. This lobby lady again explained what the other person had, that there are many people that get ALL 150. I do not know why I got 150. What matters is I passed. so, do NOT listen to people touting the exam ending "early." You cannot be concerned with this potential or variable. It really caused me a lot of anxiety and it was pointless (my fault admittedly).
There were numerous questions where I was partially certain I had the right answer. And others where I knew I was correct, but those were 20 or less questions. I am not trying to scare anyone. I am saying what people say is true: some questions have 2-4 "correct" answers. You must choose the best one, or perhaps an answer that comprises the other correct choices. It's common sense in some cases, but not others. "Is this one of those 25 that don't count?" etc. I'd ask. 25 exam questions do NOT count against your score and I presume all 25 are in the 1-100 question range. These are valid questions being tested for future exam inclusion, I am told (again, they don't count against your score but you won't know which these are).
12) There were several questions where I had the right answer in my mind but the selection was not available on the test. This means they (ISC) substituted common CISSP terminology for "street terminology." I chose the street term which was most like the CISSP term (and still wasn't sure). This happened at least 5-10 times out of 150 questions. an example of this might be "...make sure a user value is valid.." "What do they mean by this," I asked? who is the user? a Customer? What value are they inputting... ahah!!! I just said the word, "input!!" INPUT. I know what they are asking, now. I chose the answer that was most like "input validation." I am making this as an example. I cannot even recall specifics, but it happened.
13) the exam is unlike any practice questions. I am not kidding. There were times I read a question 4x and I could not understand exactly what was being asked. I re wrote those questions in my mind and sifted out the unnecessary items in my mind. That helped. Other times, I had to look at the answer selections to ascertain what was being asked. None of the practice questions are like this, not even Boson--yet the questions are still often "high level" in nature. Many times 3 answers were correct. Sometimes, all 4 were correct. "most right," "least likely" etc. I think there were a few questions that asked "which is not the least likely to..." Re word those phrases into "Which IS MOST LIKELY to....." common sense, but in the middle an exam, it can be tough to talk like this silently. Talk the questions through in your head. Remove "that" and other unnecessary words. When the test reads, "A person in charge of" mentally say "manager," and so on. Substitute words in your mind to which you can relate, aloud within your head. I feel the practice questions train your mind to rewrite questions quietly, mentally.
14) the exam is a test of endurance, street smarts, and while you must know the material well, I feel you must be able to adapt to the exam's terminology. I get the impressions doctors and lawyers write this exam--NOT managers (I am told it's actually CISSP-endorsed members that write the questions, but we'll never fully know). perhaps Compliance writers construct the exam, but I actually got a medical vibe from the exam in terms of how scenarios were presented. You cannot worry about this beforehand. You simply have to be somewhat solid in the technical material in order to adapt that knowledge to the exam questions at hand.
This is the brilliance of this exam. It would not be worthwhile were it easy. Remember this. Plus knowledge is the reward. I said this numerous times as I panicked before/during the exam--"knowledge is the reward."
15) this exam will ensure you relate technical items to non-technical people and vice versa. This point goes largely unnoticed and unreported. it's the real purpose of the exam, to me. They know you've studied. Now, they want to know if YOU can relate the material not only to the "best" answer, but to perhaps executive management at a company. Can you decode information to get the real story? Can you present these concepts to multiple audiences and be relatable? That's why the exam exists, to me, besides learning the material.
I wish everyone well that read through my long post. I cannot emphasize enough how you can be your own worst enemy mentally, or I can, and there were several times during the exam where I was overcome with emotion and just fretting. It did not help me to be like that. At one point, I thought I was going to pass out, not kidding. This takes a physical toll while you're seated. It's needless.
Just remember no one dies. You're not a doctor performing a medical procedure. You can take the exam again, but why would you want to do such a thing? Let that be your motivation during the exam to patiently read the questions over and over. I read every question twice, and most answers twice. I talked to people that failed the exam and are re-taking it again. They are actually some of the best people in their fields, not kidding. Focus on each question 1x1 of course. But again, I started to watch the clock and picked up my pace around question 80.
Also, pick an answer immediately, while you read them all too. This means you suspect a choice is right.. but you go downward to read them all. There were times this helped me immensely. If B appeared correct right away, but A did not, I clicked on B and continued down to C, then D. Until you click NEXT you can change your answer at will. More often than not, I believe my first choice was correct, but there were times I changed my first selection. At least choose something via elimination process as you commence, then finalize the review of answers. Clicking a choice keeps you physically engaged. There were times I went back to the question and individually weighed each answer against the question asking, "What is being requested--a process? a person? a fix?" I deliberated but I still always selected an answer beforehand WITHOUT clicking next. "ok, here's what you chose.. does this suffice and accommodate the question.. no? .. Yes? what else is better?"
by clicking an answer immediately, I created a baseline that could change within each question. If the question was straight forward, I did not deliberate. I selected my choice and moved on--I especially had to do this after 120 questions, as time was running out. Some questions took 10 minutes. Others took 10 seconds (those were scarce).
Electronically sign the NDA IMMEDIATELY. If you do not sign within 5 minutes, you forfeit the test/fee. Sit down, read it over, sign it. Click next. There was a screen that read, "you are about to begin the test. Click _____ to begin." I did. and the clock in right corner started.
If you must get up, raise your hand before doing so. Do not exit your desk at any time for any reason without raising your hand. They will come and get you (at my exam's end I gave up after having my hand raised for 2+minutes--I literally walked to the door and the lady did not like that--I told her I had raised my hand and she was maybe engrossed in her work and did not notice--I was nothing but cordial, but admitted to her I sat there with my hand raised in the room. She said I should have knocked on the wall, but I told her I did not want to disturb people in the room by knocking and she agreed that would be bad-- and she laughed--she made me walk back in the room, checked the terminal and saw I had indeed closed the test. When you complete the test, you of course click a button acknowledging you have completed the test. You cannot go back and change answers/re-read questions at any time, but they obviously want test takers to "complete" the test (at end) electronically for security purposes. I apologized again for walking and reiterated why I had walked.
I cannot think of anything else. Just study. You can do this. There is no magical solution other than to drill this material into your head. It takes time and many people will have different methods. I did watch a few Cybrary videos as my work paid for them, but frankly, those were less effective than Boson/Pocket prep/sybex online questions/YouTube/11th Hour. I could not concentrate reading the 8th Edition, as stated above. You can in fact make any method of study last a year if you weigh every single answer and create new mental questions against each answer.
Thanks for reading. Sorry I went on and on. I wish you all well and will tell you this exam is passable. You just have to think like a lawyer or CTO, but you must know how to fix problems too. It's not one vs the other. I've worked in telecommunications (LEC/internet/voice/video/SIP/ATM/MPLS/cloud/co-lo data center sales, business analyst, sales engineering) for 20 years. Security for 5 years overall. I have Network+, SIP SSCA, and loads of hands-on Avaya, SONUS, Lucent 5E, wiring experience, data center generator training as well.
I also had unplanned outpatient surgery on nose a few weeks before exam (MOHS). That was a pain because I had to wear bandages and get stitches etc. It all came together and worked out well, but looking back it was amazingly busy and hectic.
--Alex
P.S. Throttling. The test undoubtedly adaptively throttles up and down to accommodate your knowledge. I could see easy questions, then hard questions, then harder questions. Some were long, others were very short. I am betting there is a repository of 50,000+ questions and they cycle through these by user. There is no way two users will get the same exam twice, etc. I even got paranoid... "why am I getting another SDLC question??? Does this mean I got that other SDLC one wrong 10 questions back????" You cannot afford to think like that. I have talked to enough people that get loads of BCP questions and zero SDLC, or Risk TCO, etc, to realize the exam likely randomly targets subject matters. There likely is no pattern all the time, but the exam is trying to adapt to your knowledge (neural). It was like a roller coaster but you just focus 1x1 and try not to think about it. One blessing is once you submit an answer, you cannot go back. In some weird way, that presents a finality. Otherwise, with the way this exam is worded, you may go back , etc and run out of time. It is an absolute blessing you can't go back. I have talked to people whom completed the 6-hour test with a pen/paper in past and have re-taken the new format. The consensus from them is the new questions/adaptive are "harder" much "more grey" despite being lower in quantity.
While one should be proud of passing the CISSP, I don't think anyone should gloat. I was (and am) very careful to be humble, especially at the training center in the parking lot where I saw people looking dejected (I am not sure what exams they'd taken, but still understand the emotional roller coaster tests can present).
I still have much to learn, but cannot deny I worked very hard studying for this exam. I will reiterate some of the top Security persons I know, with decades of experience, struggled with the exam and did not pass on first attempts. Those people are in high level engineering, management, SIEM support, and executive roles. What I adore about those people is they are transparent enough to share their honest experiences about why they think they did not pass, and how they passed on further attempts. they helped me. I also talked to several people that found the exam quite easy and those people were shocked others have so many issues. I find these people to be sincere, not conceited, but more "mechanical" in nature in terms of being able to write processes, policies, conduct independent audits, develop BCPs, and so on. Those groups did not struggle with this exam, but admitted it was a grueling exam experience and they too studied, just did not stress perhaps. One such person is a professional aircraft mechanic and he, for his current living, reads manuals while repairing planes for corporate and private flights--he has a Masters in aerospace and years of software development experience atop being an aircraft mechanic--he thought the exam was very straightforward. It's amazing to hear from so many people from so many areas studying and taking this test. I wish everyone well and thank you again for reading this
submitted by Things have been busy so, I apologize for the delay. I know lots of you love these stories.
Last Friday night...Yeah, I think we broke the law...Always say we're gonna stop, whoa Friday, or in the alternative: What part of call me was not clear?
I get to my desk at the usual time and deal with the usual bullshit. I got a SCAR 16s here on consignment because a customer of mine bought them from dealers that were less than reputable and lied about the condition of/country of origin of their merchandise. And they swapped sku's and other bullshit gun dealer things.
Trying to be a nice guy, I can charge the guy to box and ship everything back or roll them at top dollar and give him a big stack of blue stripe benjamins. I tell him I'll try and sell them for him and take my cut off the top so we're both making money. He thinks this is a great idea and manages to line up a buyer on his own. I just need to do the 4473 and cut him a check. No big deal, I don't have a problem doing a little extra work for him versus the standard dealer to customer transfer. The guy he sold it to is a semi regular customer of mine and he comes in, bangs out the 4473 and it's about a 90 minute wait on transaction time.
No big deal. Instead of packing up for the gun show, I'm selling other peoples guns. I'll pack up for the gun show tonight and get everything ready when I get home. I need to be up super early and on the road.
I get everything squared off, customer comes in to get his money and drops off
ANOTHER SCAR 16s to sell because the dealer pulled a con job. Okay, I can haul it to the show in the AM. I have a SCAR 16s in FDE from him. I have a 5.7 in FDE on the arm from a buddy of mine and a 509 FDE. I'll make a package deal, FDE FN Friday all FN time. Things are looking up!
I clear off all the 4473's for the week and do an audit and I'm down about 75% inventory wise from last year. Things are tight but stuff is trickling in in drips and drabs. Hit the chickfila on my way home for a sandwich and milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard. I'm done eating and getting ready to leave when I get the call.
ring ring FC: go for FC
1: Mr Hayden sir, can I ask a favor of you?
FC: What up?
1: Got a guy who wants my scar 16 lined up but he has to pay on a credit card. Can you run it for me? You can take a card and cut me a check?
(It's 7PM on a friday night. I still need to pack for the show. By the time I get back it will be 9PM and I still need to shower and get a decent nights sleep. I'm a glutton for punishment)
FC: If you want to get it done tonight, have the guy call me. I'm eating dinner now and I'll head back if he calls me.
1: roger that, I'll pass along your info right now and let him know.
I do a few more emails from the laptop and say hi to the chickfila owner who was friends with my dad and buys guns from me. We chat for a bit and my phone does not ring. Now, gentle readers - I offered to head back at 730PM on a friday to get something done for someone as a favor to them. That should be worthy of "holy shit you are the man for coming back on your own time!" but this was not the case. No phone call means I didn't head back.
I head home, no phone call. Phone about to die. Plug it in and go into my garage and get all my gun show stuff sorted and loaded and organized. My normal display is 3 tables of merchandise stacked and racked on 2 tables. This show it's 1.5 tables of merchandise stretched out on 2 tables. Not good. My back is killing me. I get some ibuprofen and take a hot shower. Grab my phone off the charger. Bunch of missed calls, one email one VM. I return the VM.
1: Hey you must be having a good dinner at chickfila, we've been waiting here in the parking lot for the last hour!
FC: You have? Well, I didn't get a phone call. I'm home and in pajamas.
1: What? He didn't call you?
FC: Nope
1: HEY! YOU DIDN'T CALL HIM? Oh he says he just figured......
FC: No phone call means no turning around to go back to work. We'll deal with it next week.
1: Okay I'll tell him.
I'm a pretty easy to get along with guy. If you ask me a favor, I'll likely do it if it does not interfere with my life too badly. But if you ask me for a favor and you can't follow simple instructions, well then you're wasting your own time. That's no skin off my hide. Failure to follow simple directions on your part does not warrant my bad back bending over backwards to make it right. I climb into bed, I have to be up at 5AM to tank up at the truck stop, grab breakfast on the run and get to this show on the road.
Saturday, in the park. I think it was the fourth of july. People dancing, people laughing. A man selling ice cream. Singing Italian songs.... Showtime Saturday.
My back is stiffer than I'd like. I get down to the show and get loaded in and everything is set up looking spiffy. Not in my normal spot right by the loading dock, much to my chagrin. There's a line that's 1/4 mile long to get into the building. This shit is looking crazy.
Here's the deal, folks. The 4473 isn't hard. It does require attention to detail. Being in therapy with Dr Kaplan, I've learned a few things.
Old FC: Here's the clipboard, call me when you're done.
New FC: Here's the form, I'm guessing you haven't filled this out before. Start on line 9, read this carefully, 18A and 18B are two separate questions that both require answers, 21 L 2 is tricky, you need to read it ALL THE WAY TO THE END before you answer. Sign on 22, today's date on 23. STOP THERE.
With the new spiel, of the 7 forms I was handed on Saturday before noon - guess how many were filled out correctly? I'll make a break here to talk about the bullshit I had to do.
Show Hustler #1: I had a consignment mossberg built in new haven pre 1968. A guy wants to buy it and he's friends with Ray Dalio. Yes, the Ray Dalio. He tries getting me to knock $100 off but I tell him he's nuts. If he's FRIENDS WITH A BILLIONAIRE and lives in GREENWICH fucking Connecticut, you can pay my very fair asking price of about $350 on it. He relents and I give him a small discount and I give him the clipboard.
Show Hustler #2: I got a guy wanting to trade me a 44 Mag Black Desert Eagle for a Colt 1911 I have on the table. Prices are about the same. I tell him I'm not doing the work of selling two guns for the profit of one gun. He tells me I'm not selling two guns, I'm trading one and selling one. That's selling one gun! I explain two entries in my A/D book means I sell two guns, and it's easier for me to sell a NIB Colt than it is for me to sell a used Desert Eagle. Well the DE isn't used! It's unfired! It's brand new! If I didn't get it from a wholesaler, it's used. He says for me to think about it and he'll be at the show. I tell him I thought about it. He says yeah, ready to do an even trade? I say no, now I want your gun plus $1000. He calls me a clown and walks away.
Show Hustler #3: Over the road truck driver wants the FN 5.7 in FDE I have on consignment. Asks for a truck driver discount. He wants it for $1200. I've got it tagged at $1350. I tell him if he can fill out the form straight, no errors I write it at 1200. If there's an error, I write it for $1350. He says he just bought a brand new freightliner cascadia and money is tight. I tell him well we got a bet or what? He nods, I book the action.
Show Hustler #4: Guy wants my 509C. He wants to trade me for a NIB glock even up. I tell him there's no money to be made and selling a used glock gets me less money. BUT ITS NOT USED! ITS BRAND NEW! We go back and forth 9 times about how new does not mean what he thinks it means. I offer him $350 on his trade as credit knowing that $650 on a used glock in 45ACP is all the money right now. He calls me a cocksucker and walks away.
Okay, so 7 form 4473's with an explanation as to all the problem areas before noon on Saturday.....how many were filled out correctly?
If you answered zero, you are right! That means I won the 4473 bet. The 5.7 goes out at top dollar. Winner winner chicken dinner!
I head home and count my money. I need 9 more shows like this and I might finally be able to retire. On the way home I check web orders. Three guys in arkansas have ordered $900 22LR off my website at $150 a brick. I joke about my stash of 22LR being a brand new F350 platinum but at $150/brick that's rapidly becoming a reality.
Sunday, Bloody Sunday Sunday is day 2 of the show. I stop at a local diner and grab corned beef hash and a short stack of pancakes for breakfast. Want to know how good a diner is? If there's real butter with the pancakes and not that bullshit country crock/margarine spread, you know things will be good.
There's butter. It's good.
A very nice Sig 229 in stainless in 9mm comes by from a guy who did business with me years ago. He traded me a Wilson CQB pistol for a Sig 226 and a Springfield Range Officer even up. I had maybe $1600 into that Wilson, I sold it for $2500 a few months later and tucked the money away. When my brother got married, our fucking gigantic family got together the night before the wedding and had dinner. I told him I'd cover it and he's like "are you sure?" and I said, how bad could it be? Not realizing his wife's family is a bunch of hungry alcoholics from cape cod who have never seen an open bar before and are total gluttons when someone else is buying. As it turns out, $2500 covered about half of the F&B, but he seemed appreciative.
Anyhow.
I sell nothing at the show all day and talk with the other dealers and swap stupid customer stories. I pack and head home and I've sold a good bit of stuff of mine and consignments. As I'm making my way out of the building, the wheel comes off the wagon.
This is not a euphemism.
https://imgur.com/a/KY5vLCl I pay off all my friends for their sales, and in the zelle memo field, I break down the transactions as such:
$69.69 - Anal Hook
$350 - Loch Ness Monster Poster
(whatever the balance was after bullshit, I can't remember) - this is from your real dad
I have lots of fun at this job sometimes.
It's just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. 'Cause that's my fun day. Monday morning I get an email from the fellow who spent his friday night in the parking lot waiting for me. His email address leads me to believe he spent some time at Parris Island or San Diego, because who else uses semper fi in an email address name? He says he can be in after work at 1645 hours sharp and is just down the road. I tell him I'll get everything squared away for him, and I prep the 4473's on a clipboard and get everything set up.
Cleaning up files from the show, closing out 4473's. Down to 249 items in stock. 150 of them are lowers. This is not good. Must strike while irons are hot though. Gotta shear all the sheep while the wool is ready to harvest and prices are high. I have a bunch of personal ammo that will hit the market one POTUS says something stupid. That's not an if, that's a when.
Bunch of phone calls from people seeking 380 and cheap 9mm. I do my best charles bronson impression. "No dice." The emails accusing me of price gouging are fantastic. There's some other idiocy too. I won't post the whole ones but here's a few snippets from the butthurt and the unprepared as well as the idiotic.
I’m just looking for fmj for target practice. Nothing fancy. If you could do them for $400 a case of 1000 I can talk.
FC: I can get you $400/case on 1000 but it'll be foreign made non brass 9mm ammo.
Pretty much what your saying is no matter how much money I try to spend, you’re continuing your get rich quick prices. People like you are direct part of the problem. It’s one thing to make money and it’s another to try to high way rob people. Hope you’re proud of yourself.
FC: I can assure you that this isn't a get rich quick situation. I spent plenty of money investing in half a million rounds of ammo about FOUR years ago during the Trump slump and I'm just getting around to realizing profits now. I am not getting rich, nor am I doing it quickly. I hardly think that any investment that takes 4 years to realize a gain is quick.
(No response back)
Subject: Used Ruger 10/22
Message: I’ll give you 175 for it.
FC: Deal. Can you come by today?
(new message, no subject)
Message: I can come by Tomorrow or Thursday.
(I try calling him. VM box is full)
FC: Great! Lets get it done. Your VM box is full. Tomorrow is better.
(new message, no subject)
Message: I can come tomorrow but I only have 150 I can spend at the moment so I’ll probably wait a few days.
FC: What happened to " I’ll give you 175 for it." a few hours ago?
(new message, no subject)
Message: My bad dude. I have a kid I don’t know what to tell you. And I’m pretty sure I said Wednesday or Thursday. If you really want it gone that bad I don’t see what the big deal is.
FC: I was just expecting you to have $175 ready if you said you wanted to deal......So, will Wednesday or Thursday work this week? Bring me cash and your concealed.
(new message, no subject)
Message: No cwl. But you don’t need one for a private sale. I can have your cash.
FC: No CWL no sale.
(new message, no subject)
Message: Yeah I’ll pass. Good luck. You totally should have mentioned that at the start of negotiations.
FC: What part of my ad that said cash and concealed required was unclear?
Yeah. Fucking mondays.
1630 rolls around and our scar loving jarhead walks in. With his wife. And his children. Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR little munchkins. All without an ipad and disney + streaming to keep them occupied. They're not bad kids, just curious at all the little things I have lying around like lower parts kits, magazines, AAC 51T mounts, stuff like that.
He hands over his ID. I look at the address. It's a city two and a half hours away.
FC: Uh, you're a long way from home.
USMC: Yeah I just moved. I'm putting my new address on this form if that's okay.
FC: You have anything with your new address on it? I can't do anything with ID that's not current.
USMC: It's not expired, it's current.
FC: Where do you live?
USMC: (names address locally)
FC: Then this is no longer current. I need something with your new local address on it.
USMC: Oh then I'll just use the old address on this form then.
FC: That's not acceptable. I need a current government document with your new address.
USMC: Here, I have activation orders and training orders from the army.
FC: That won't work. Government document with your new address.
USMC: Here's my W2 from the DOD.
FC: That's not a government document.
USMC: But the DOD gave it to me! It's FROM the department of defense, which is the government!
(Editors note: Did I mention that I hate mondays?)
sigh FC: I can call ATF and ask......
USMC: Please do!
(I phone the ATF area supervisor on his cellular device)
ATF: Mr Hayden, how can I help you today?
FC: Barry, I got a funny one. Guy wants to use his DOD W2/activation orders to get his gun since that has his current address.
ATF: Why? Is there a reason he's unable to get an updated drivers license?
FC: That's a good question Barry, let me find out.
(FC puts ATF on speakerphone)
FC: Hey private first class, ATF wants to know why you didn't update your license
USMC: Uh because I've been busy
ATF: Sir, that's not an answer. I was in the military too and I had to change ID's just like you. If I can had to do it you have to do it.
(Barry was a very long time ago a RIO on the F4 Phantom)
USMC: But I have activation orders! and training orders! and a W2!
ATF: Get your license changed over or produce another document for the licensee to process your transaction.
FC: Thanks barry!
I hang up and tell him that's the area supervisor and I'm playing this one the way he tells me. He needs to produce a document compliant with ATF regulations for me to release this firearm.
USMC: Oh by the way there's a guy with my same name that robbed a bank in Detroit last year, I always get delayed anyways.
(sigh)
I type his stuff into the computer and I get a thumbs up from the computer instantly much to his amazement. I fire off a quick email to the guy who owns the scar
Subject: No current ID
Message: your jarhead friend who wants the scar does not have current ID
No deal? Or what's the plan?
My reply is interrupted. Their oldest child admires the batman dollar on my safe. The youngest child is incessantly clicking a spare pilot G2 pen I had on my desk.
Mother: If you click that pen ONE MORE TIME, you are WALKING HOME.
(kid puts the pen down)
Me, whispering to the kid: It's not that far.
(kid picks the pen back up)
Mother scowls at both of us.
I giggle.
I get back to email.
FC: Lets put it this way. You're gonna owe me for this one. Big time.
His wife starts pulling out auto registrations, USAA insurance cards, cable bills, etc with their new address - NONE of which are useful because none of them are government issued. She updates his and her drivers licenses online at the state website and gives me a voter registration printout confirming the update, but that's not a workable document since it's an informational update and not an actual registration.
Customer that owns the scar walks in and witnesses the flurry of kids playing with gun stuff and two grown ass adults trying to make it all work.
It's been 45 minutes of this.
The guy finally gives up and goes on the state website and gets a fishing license and emails it to me. Stacks a big stack of SCAR magazines that NOBODY has in stock to the order and I charge it onto his USAA mastercard. Had I returned to work on a Friday after hours to get an ID that wasn't current, I would have been apoplectic. Now, I'm just mildly annoyed. I can assure you that anyone who has walked through the hallowed halls of MCRD Parris Island should know to have their shit together. This just seemed like some hybrid of cluelessness more than it was an issue of stolen valor. Gun and mags go out the door.
My customer sits down and starts laughing. I look at him totally nonplussed.
1: That was easy, right?
(FC looks nonplussed)
1: An hour worth of work, for $50! That's good! you should do a few of those a day!
(FC looks nonplussed)
1: Really?
FC: You owe me.
I cut him his check and I'm done for the night. I head home.
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too.... Tuesday
Another day, another box of 9mm at $75 each heading out the door.....I'm down to my last 15,000 rds of 9mm. I sold my entire personal stash of Remington UMC at $67 a box. Now that we're into the Federal American Eagle, it's up to $75. People are thanking me for having it available because they've called everywhere.
This morning's "no I don't have it" calls: 380ACP, 30-40 Krag, 6.5 CM, Grendel and Swede, 2.5" .410 slugs, 3 or 3.5" shells and turkey loads.
Now, for the uninitiated: Turkey season is around the corner. ALL the ammo for turkey loads have been purchased by new shooters looking for home defense ammo since last year. Why turkey loads for self defense?
That's all the cabelas had.... Come season, there will be lots of very disappointed hunters who were unprepared. Those with ammo will hunt, those without ammo will hunt for ammo, and they will not be successful given the state of the ammunition markets. There is far more money to be made cranking out buckshot and slugs than there are turkey shells.
Package comes in for transfer. Guy has a NJ license. He's just moved here. Has NOTHING with his new address. This is basically a repeat of Monday's SCAR sale. The guy here is ADAMANT that he's bought a home here and he can purchase a firearm without being a state resident.
He's technically right. HOWEVER this is why dealers hate doing things: The gun and sale have to follow both the laws of the state he's in
AND the state of New jersey. Now I have to run down all the bullshit that is NJ published ordnances to ensure that this gun is Phil Murphy(TM) approved. For the price of a transfer. BUT WAIT THERES MORE!
The gun is for a BUDDY of his he's giving it to him as a gift when he's down here for a fishing trip in a few days.
https://imgur.com/0cqL7vX Read that last line.
Yeah. I tell him that it's unlawful for him to dispose of a firearm to a non resident. He's wondering what the fuck to do. He insists on taking delivery. I tell him I need to run it down with the address and everything since his NJ license isn't technically valid since HE NO LONGER LIVES THERE.
The guy bought a double wide trailer here, the trailer park handles all the water, the power, the etc - he does not have any REAL property here. He's insistent that he has a deed for his house. He's holding a bill of sale for a mobile home.
sigh I tell him we should just get things sent to his friend via an FFL in his state. The guy lines up an FFL and I fedex the gun to the dealer up there. We need ONE UNIFORM SET OF COHESIVE COMMON SENSE GUN LAWS, not one federal set and 50+ subsections on a state level plus NY State HOME RULE BULLSHIT.
I head home early, telemedicine with Dr Kaplan. He's impressed with my progress. I'm not.
There are no songs that have Wednesday that I can think of here Wednesday, Hump Day
I decide to work from home today. I can take all the phone calls and tell people no I don't have anything from home. I decide to do some early spring cleaning. It's a BEA-U-TIFUL day. The sun is out, nice weather means I can work in the garage for once. I start a load of laundry. Everything starts off fine. I'm sorting through old shot show HK posters when I can smell burning. There's no smoke but I do smell burning. Am I having a stroke? I can't figure it out and I get a load of laundry processed through my carbon neutral solar powered clothes drying system. I start another batch of laundry and hear a massive grinding noise when I should hear the washing machine washing. That burning smell? That was the timer burning up. And I have a full tub of underwear that needs to get done since I'm nearly out. Fuck.
My dad's old toolbox is in disarray. Mine isn't. I quickly grab a few tools. A snap on general service kit is totally overkill, but it's super nice to have EVERYTHING in one spot ready to go. My 1/4 drive ratchet takes apart my washing machine panel with ease. I unplug the timer and hit the electronic bay for a replacement. I find one 2 hours away and they say they can ship immediately on my fedex account. I can get it here tomorrow if they fedex ground it on todays truck. Deal, here's my amex. Email me tracking when it's sent.
One problem arisen, one problem in progress of being fixed. Not bad for before noon.
I get a bunch of stuff stacked up and straightened up and I throw a ton of stuff on facebook marketplace. Old Glock signs and point of sale merchandise like hanging ceiling mobiles, glock pencils, FN pads, FN hats, Daniel Defense stickers and patches, HK pistol racks, some old Colt and Beretta Blue boxes, all that stuff.
People message me about the Colt box. WHATS IN THE BOX they ask.
Well it's an empty fucking box. I made that
VERY clear in the description. So what's my witty rejoinder? A youtube link to the scene from Seven with Brad Pitt yelling at Morgan Freeman "WHATS IN THE BOX? WHATS IN THE BOX?!?!!?!"
They are not amused. I think it's brilliant. They ask me what gun is for sale. I tell them it's just an empty box but if they want a gun, here's my info and call me at work during business hours. I'm then told that people selling empty boxes on facebook aren't selling empty boxes, they're selling guns.
This, I did not know.
Armed with this newfound information, I proceed to post more random stuff from my garage for sale in front of a pile of 20,000 rds of 9mm. An old kegerator and some bar equipment my dad had, a Miller Genuine Draft neon sign backdropped with 5 cases of Winchester Q4170 45ACP and 5 cases of CCI Lawman 147gr 9mm. The messages flood in looking to buy my stuff cheap. But I know what I got.
My favorite interaction:
1: hey man, you got anything else for sale?
FC: Tons of stuff for sale!
1: I'm looking for pews.
FC: I got pews, you want to stop by and check out my pews? I got some real nice ones, super nice. Only used on sunday!
1: Yeah man I'm leaving for lunch in 10 min, give me your address
FC: Sure thing! Here's me, be here in 30 minutes!
I continue to clean up my garage and I pull out some of my dad's old auction finds. Under about 200 old polynesian tiki mugs, I dust off some white oak church pews and pull them into the driveway. The guy tells me he wants to see the pews I got, and I point them out to him in the driveway. White oak, great shape - just needs some lemon pledge and they'll be good as new. He calls me a clown, gets in his car and drives off.
What's wrong with these people?
I return to find 254 facebook marketplace messages for people asking me to sell/ship them guns and ammo to all sorts of places and that facebook has suspended my account for violations of their marketplace terms. The offending item? An old Sig Sauer binder that has a P226 exploded diagram on the front. Because firearm parts are not allowed.
I manage to sell on facebook marketplace an old surefire incandescent rifle light, a blue colt mustang box, a few tin winchester ammo signs, some beer neons that belonged to my dad and some soft pistol rugs that I ordered from RSR on clearance. A productive wednesday. My haul nets me after facebook marketplace fees and shipping about $54 on the shipped items and a few hundred bucks in miscellany. I give my business cards to all the folks looking for gun stuff and they seem surprised that I still have ammo and that they've never heard of me. They do all their ammo and gun shopping online and don't do B&M. That's the way things will be in the future.
I head to the tex mex joint for dinner. I chat it up with a very cute blonde that is the manager. She's just moved into a new place after her man chated on her and she ditched that zero. I offer her my stack of bed bath and beyond coupons.
FC: Starting over is expensive. Maybe this will make it a little bit cheaper.
1: Oh my gosh this will save me a bunch of money! Here, your dinner is on me.
FC: It's been a long time since a woman has bought me dinner. Perhaps I should return that favor. Do you like firefighters?
(she cracks a big smile under the mask)
1: I do, but I'm talking to someone right now.
FC: I can see you ditched the zero, but if it does not work out and you want to get yourself a hero - I'm here pretty often. Just ask and I'll take you to dinner at your favorite place.
I manage to get rejected by a woman
at the same time she bought me dinner.
That takes talent. I head home, pop some ibuprofen and head to bed. I check my email in bed. There's a tracking number.
PICKUP OCCOURED AFTER FEDEX CUTOFF FOR TODAY, PACKAGE WILL BE TENDERED THE NEXT BUSINESS DAY You fucking clowns. You had one job. I call fedex and ask them to hold it at the facility 2 hours away. I'll grab it in the AM. They can't even find it. Fuck it. Leave it. I'll deal with it later.
Thursday, I don't care about you Thursday, or FC makes a new friend!
I head into work a bit early today, as I'm driving down my street, I round the corner and see an older fellow wheeling his trash to the curb. This guy had a '99 Ford F250 extended cab 4x4 with the venerable 7.3 navistar in MINT condition for sale. 129,000 miles, parked in a garage 10 months out of the year. He wanted $16k for this truck and I figured he got tired of tire kickers and lowballs and kept it. I messaged him 3 days after the post went up and I never followed up, I knew the house since I've literally been driving past it MY ENTIRE LIFE on the way to elementary, middle, high school, college and now work.
My passenger window rolls down as I stop right next to the mailbox.
FC: You still got your F250?
1: No! That thing sold in one hour! To a dealer!
FC: Son of a bitch! I wanted that truck, I didn't even know you were selling!
1: Dealer came over in one hour, took a look at it, put cash on the hood, slapped a dealer tag on it and drove it out of here!
FC: Damn! I wish you put a sign on it and I would have stopped.
1: I told my wife I didn't want to sell it to a dealer but my garage isn't big enough!
FC: No kidding. Say, you still got your T bird?
1: My thunderbird? How'd you know I have a thunderbird?
FC: I grew up here! When I was in grade school I'd ride by and you were wrenching on it, when I was in high school, I'd see you wrenching on it from the bus and when I was in college I'd see you wrenching on it on my way home from class!
1: I spent 20 years building that car 2 weeks at a time! You wanna see it?
FC: Well, when you put it that way....
I pull off into the grass. He's got a detached 3500 square foot garage with Snap On's Mr Big not 1 but 2 ben pearson four post lifts. He shows me his thunderbird he's been working on for two decades. We get to talking. He's a commercial alaskan fisherman and he spends 10 months of the year in alaska and seattle running boats. Super nice guy. He asks me what I do for work, and I tell him. He tells me all his friends are scrambling for ammo and he didn't think it was that bad. I tell him it's been that way for about a year. He needs 00 buckshot, 8 or 9 pellet. I just got a small delivery. I tell him I can get him some. I give him my card and tell him call me this afternoon and I'll throw a few boxes in my briefcase and I'll deliver them on my way home. I'm asked about my watch, he's apparently a GMT man as well. We both like fords and stainless GMT's. Nice. He tells me the story about how he accidentally welded the band to his boat in the bering sea while doing repairs with a stick welder.
FC: What do you catch?
1: Pollock, cod
FC: long line?
1: No, trawler..... You know your commercial fishing.
FC: I know my customers.
Impressed at my substantial seafood knowledge, he tells me he'll call me after he checks his safe. I head into work and get some more stuff done.
I get a call from a referral. This guy was busted for selling pot and spent 8 months in miltary prison at Leavenworth. He's wondering if he can still own or have a gun with a bad conduct discharge. I'm not sure. I call my retinue and we agree that it's worthy of research and we should do a bar journal article about it. I love it when a plan comes together.
Doctor lady and her husband come in and their attorney has told them that without a trust, their silencer order will need to be approved by the CLEO of the region. This is why people hate lawyers. I get all their stuff drawn up as they requested with two trusts and interlocking responsible parties. Double the prints and plenty of passport photos all around.
Dead Air is behind on pistons and mounts, as usual but I'm assured by the big man in charge that they will be at wholesalers shortly. I'm so scrambled that I forget to charge her for two cans. No big deal, I'll email her and deal with it when I get her the mounts.
I have a facebook marketplace post up for an old Glock brand Pistol case and some glock brand ear pro. Here's the message:
Hi Will it's John from facebook marketplace I was looking at the glock bb gun and head phones will you show me a pic of the actually glock and does it have a clip and a slide,,??¿?? My old one did but I left it at my apartment I was sharing with friends but I miss having it lmk asap please and thanks sincerely Jeff K.
FC: Lets start here. 1. I don't sell Glock BB guns. 2. I don't have head phones. Were you only interested in BB guns?
Ya I was on Facebook marketplace looking for BB c02 pistols
sigh I go truck shopping online. A guy has a 2011 F250 diesel for $24k. Except it's not a 2011. It's a 2001. I don't know what's more absurd, a 2011 at $24k, when average retail is a shade under $20k or a 20 year old truck selling for half of MSRP.
I'm ready to give up on this. Truck prices are stupid. I check my email. Timer in transit, Fedex has it en route.
I head home and pop a flexiril and head to sleep. The flexeril isn't fixing any of my muscles but manages to knock me the fuck out quite nicely. I need to be up early.
Just got paid, Friday night.... Friday, or FC vs The Washing Machine
As a kid, I always played with my dads toolbox. I took apart tons of stuff and had no idea how to put it back together. Some kids when they're in the tender years made birdhouses and small woodworking projects and it was super fun for them to pretend. Me? I took apart a 1 horse GE electric blower motor my dad short circuited on accident and made a pretend General Electric first generation boiling water nuclear reactor. Which was not really easy to do given the fact that the internet didn't exist in the early 90's. You had to have some modicum of imagination, and in that case your design was neither right nor wrong because nobody could easily prove your design accurate or otherwise. I had effectively built Schrodinger's BWR. I used different colored and sized tapcons and red heads for fuel/control rods if anyone was wondering. I think I can handle the washing machine. Just for good measure I put on my Cal Tech shirt.
As I warm up breakfast, I get an email from a guy named Eddie. He wants to see some 40S&W pistols. I tell him I have a busy morning. I can find some time for him around 10AM if he wants to stop by and I'll have what he's looking for ready.
My fedex guy stops at the Boeing facility first thing in the morning to drop off parts at the loading dock, I know his schedule so I pull up to the dock and hang out there waiting for him. Jeff is right on time and I snag my washer timer. No email back from Eddie so time to head back home to put everything back together. I'm in the middle of buttoning it up when I get a call.
Eddie is standing in my parking lot wanting to check out some 40S&W pistols I have in stock. I tell him all my available inventory on the website and that if he wanted me to have everything ready for him at 10AM, he should have given me an affirmative reply or a phone call. Right now, clean underwear is a priority and Eddie seems to understand this and he says he will chat with me later.
I head back to work. The entire parking lot smells like weed. There's a VW microbus parked on the far side of the lot and I'm downwind of it.
This is not a coincidence.
Wholesale rep tries to sell me $700 complete andersons
again with a min order of 50. Pass.
I get a bunch of messages from other dealers looking to buy ammo off me and resell it to their customers at "reasonable" prices and I tell them they are fools for selling stuff cheap. They just don't get it and they'll be out of business soon.
I get a call from a guy wanting ammo. He wants all my 22LR. I tell him the price and he says "I can't make a profit selling it at those prices!"
This is the reason regular people can't buy ammo just FYI.
It's Friday again. I've got another gun show to prep for. New product just rolls in on the UPS truck. A few glocks, a few shields, and for some reason the rep sent me 5 sets of rear MBUS sights instead of 5 front and 5 rear. Ugh. I manage to get a small allocation of 9mm in on this truck as well as 11 boxes of 10mm! This year is looking better by the week!
I get several calls for AAC mounts that nobody has in stock and the owners are totally confused. One guy had a can and was selling a rifle and sold the
ONLY mount he owned for that can to the guy buying his rifle for $200.
He was under the impression that you could just call AAC and order another mount for $112. I tell him if I can find what he's looking for, I'll need to buy it for $250 from someone and that it will sell for $350-500 by the time I mark it up. He's super confused as to why everyone is running out and buying AAC mounts and why they can't be ordered. I explain AAC/Remington's two bankruptices in 5 years. He is even more confused. I finally blurt it out.
You had ONE mount for your can. You sold it. There are no other mounts. You have paid a tax stamp for and own a can that YOU CAN NO LONGER MOUNT because you sold them. He now realizes the error of his ways. Nothing I can do about that.
Second guy tells me he sees I have AAC mounts. He needs one for his can. I ask him what model he has. He has to crack open the safe.
1: It's an Advanced Armament Corp Norcross Georgia
FC: That's the manufacturer......
1: It's a.........ZERO ENNN DASH ZERO EFFF EFFF
FC: It's a what?
1: It says on the side ZERO ENNN DASH ZERO EFFFF EFFFF
(Editors note:
https://www.advanced-armament.com/assets/products/762-SDN-6.png )
FC: That's not the model.
1: It's not? Then what did I read to you?
FC: That's not a zero. That's the letter O.
- The number O?
FC: O. As in Oh. ENNNN. Dash. Oh. EFFF EFF.
1: I'm confused.
FC: You just read the directions to take the can ON or OFF.
1: Huh that would explain the arrows wouldn't it......
FC: Yeah. What model do you have?
1: It's an MK13-SD!
FC: You need a 90T ratchet mount.
1: Great! You stock em, right?
FC: Nope.
1: But your website has some, those will work right?
FC: Unless you need 51T mounts, I can't help you.
1: Can you suggest someone that can? I need mounts.
FC: AAC is gone, these mounts may never be made again.
1: Shit.
Not to be out done, I get one more phone call.
1: hey this is brent, I need an AAC mount
FC: What model you got?
1: 7.62
FC: Right, thats the caliber.
1: RS7!
FC: SR7?
1: That's the one! I need an SR 7 mount in 5.56, the one I have is in 7.62
FC: Got four here. $400.
1: I just need one.
FC: That is for one.
1: WHAT? FOR ONE? Why's it so expensive?
FC: Remington went under. These may never be made again. I've been buying up everything I've been able to find so I can run the table.
1: That's a good business move.
FC: Not my first rodeo.
1: Well for $400 I'll just take a mount off a rifle I'm not using and I'll set that up. Thanks anyways.
(90 minutes later, my door swings open)
FC: What can I do for you?
1: I'm brent, we talked about that RS7 mount.
FC: SR7.
1: Whatever. I got this here and it does not even fit! It's for the wrong rifle! I need the right mount, this one is in 5.56 I need the one for the 7.62
FC: Lemme see what you got.
(Looks at package. AAC 90T TAPER MOUNT FH SR-5 5.56 1/2x28)
FC: What are you mounting this to?
1: AR15 in 223
FC: This is the correct mount.
1: No it's not! It does not fit!
FC: Does not fit barrel or can?
1: The can! I mounted it to the barrel and the can won't work! Need the one for the RS7!
FC: SR7
1: Whatever! I have a 7.62 can, this mount is for 5.56 and it's the wrong one.
FC: Who sold you this mount?
1: The gun store across the street from my house.
FC: You live an hour away, why didn't you go there?
1: I did, they don't have this mount in 7.62, I went there first.
FC: And they didn't explain this to you?
1: What is there to explain? This mount is marked 5.56. My can isn't 5.56. It's 7.62.
FC: Oh, so you want the one marked 7.62 in 1/2x28.
1: Exactly!
FC: 7.62 mounts aren't made in 1/2x28, all the 90T mounts are 90T exterior and the threading internally is different.
1: You're wrong.
FC: Please, argue with the guy wearing a caltech shirt.....
1: Prove it.
(I open his package and I grab an SR7 out of the safe. I press the latch down and thread it on)
1: You son of a bitch.
FC: You want to argue with me some more?
1: So what mount do I need?
(I pull out one of my mounts and show him side by side they're exactly the same)
1: Hmmmm. Okay. I must have done something wrong.
FC: There's not a lot of ways to do this wrong, but you found one. Go try it again.
(90 minutes later he calls back and tells me I was right)
What the fuck is with all the AAC people this week that are totally clueless?
But hey, at least I have clean underwear.
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